The procession required 22 miles of barricades in central London alone. “Of course, those in town who wanted to know exactly where the procession was at any point along the route could just download Domino’s Monarch Tracker,” Colbert joked. Colbert then turned to domestic concerns, particularly the stunt last week by Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, who sent two planes full of Venezuelan asylum seekers to Martha’s Vineyard without warning. “It turned out to be a lot worse than we thought because he actually kidnapped them from Texas,” Colbert explained. “For a guy who worries so much about borders, he doesn’t seem to know where his state ends. “Why is Florida’s governor spending taxpayer money to grab asylum seekers in Texas? Because he can read their minds,” Colbert said, playing a video in which DeSantis justified his actions by saying that most of the asylum seekers intended to go to Florida. “Come on, nobody’s planning to go to Florida,” Colbert argued. “You’re forced to go there for two reasons: you’re about to die and you want to eat pudding next to an alligator, or you want to do that Disney thing and make your own lightsaber.”
Seth Meyers
“As they begin to worry about their midterm prospects, Republicans are turning to their favorite election-year scare tactic of lying about immigration, highlighted by a particularly callous and sadistic stunt by Florida Gov. Ron DeSandis,” Seth Meyers said in Late Monday Night. DeSantis’ decision to fly asylum seekers to Martha’s Vineyard was “a ploy designed entirely to curry favor with Fox News, which he apparently gave advance notice,” Meyers noted. “So congratulations, Florida, you spent a bunch of taxpayer money on a stupid and disgusting stunt that accomplished nothing except maybe some publicity for Ron DeSandis’ 2024 presidential bid,” he added. “And, worse than that, you’ve given rich liberals vacationing on Martha’s Vineyard another thing to feel confident about. “In addition to the many ways this stunt is stupid and cruel,” he added, NPR reported that the immigrants were lured onto the plane under false pretenses and told they would be flown to Boston for expedited work papers. “The Republican party is an institution built almost entirely around spectacles of cruelty and humiliation, and that’s how you know they’re desperate,” Meyers concluded. “They are resorting to horrific intimidation tactics and grotesque stunts in an attempt to cause yet another election year border panic.”
Jimmy Kimmel
Jimmy Kimmel also touched on the Queen’s funeral, which “stretches for miles, similar to what happens here in America when Popeye’s comes out with a new chicken sandwich.” And he disputed Trump’s characterization of the FBI’s seizure of classified documents at Trump’s Mar-a-Lago home last month. Over the weekend, Trump posted on Truth Social: “I will soon be heading to the scene of the unwarranted, unjust and illegal raid and burglary of my Florida home in Mar-a-Lago.” “Unwarranted? The FBI literally had a warrant,” Kimmel said. “And let’s get one other thing straight: What happened at Mar-a-Lago was not a raid or a break-in. They asked him to return the documents and they only showed up to take them when he didn’t. “This is not a raid or burglary. A break-in is what Trump used to do in the Miss Universe dressing room.”
Trevor Noah
And on the Daily Show, Trevor Noah laughed at a British news anchor who called queuing a “national pastime” in reference to the Queen’s funeral. “That’s an interesting takeaway,” Noah said. “I think they like the Queen too, but that’s true: apparently, queuing is very popular in Britain. It’s like their national pastime. “And before you make fun of them for doing something so boring, don’t forget that America’s national pastime is baseball — when people act like someone died but they didn’t,” he added. Noah also praised David Beckham for refusing to skip the line and waiting in line to pay his respects, “which is really admirable, especially when you think you don’t know who you’re going to be stuck with in that line.” There could be an Arsenal fan behind him for 20 hours ‘like, ‘man, United aren’t shit this season! Arsenal! Arsenal!’”
